Early Warning Signs
It is easy to spot the signs early that you may be in a toxic culture if you notice some or all of the following:
Poor Leadership
Firstly, poor leadership where managers who yell, belittle, or play favourites with their pet employees, their substitute for the golden child in the family.
Chaos and Confusion
There are no clear direction or instructions for work, and it seems to be constant chaos bubbling under the surface, ready to erupt at any time.
Fear-Based Control
Their control is based on fear and blame, and many colleagues will be too scared to speak up, even when the behaviour is inappropriate. Disrespect and harassment, bullying, rude comments and microaggressions will potentially be constant. The worst of it is inappropriate jokes or touching, either ignored or enjoyed by management.
Blame Over Solutions
If there are mistakes, they adopt a…. Whose fault is this? Approach, rather than how do we fix it?
Cliques and Favouritism
There is likely a clique in which management favours some and excludes the rest, creating an us-versus-them dynamic in the workplace. This is also likely to contain work we can call work creep, increasing workload for no recognition, etc.
How to Respond Strategically
If I call it out here, I hope it helps you respond strategically rather than emotionally. Remember that you matter more than the job, so protect your mental and emotional health. It is clear that if you cannot control their behaviour, you can control what you take on board.
Separate Content From Behaviour
Remember to separate the content from the behaviour. Ignore the content and focus on how it was delivered; work on bringing it to an acceptable level. By being excessively polite, you do not get in the sty, remember it…. Never wrestle with a pig; you’ll get dirty, and the pig will love it. Keep that on repeat!
Document Everything
Do the job to the best of your ability and record everything in emails. Remember: emails are dated and timed, so they create a body of evidence.
Work Colleagues Are Not Friends
Possibly the biggest and best piece of advice is never believe that work colleagues are friends! Even if they are friendly and you even socialise with them, they will bury you in a heartbeat if push comes to shove. Some psychologists say trust one or two at work, but I say: do not be naïve; work colleagues can only be trusted to do what suits them, not you.
Set Clear Boundaries
Set some clear boundaries for yourself, try not to put a target on your back, and be polite; as I have said, and as you set your limits when challenged in this same manner, you will start to earn either some respect or some caution from your work colleagues. You will not change the culture, but you will stay above water.
You Cannot Fix the Culture, But You Can Protect Yourself.
You may not be able to change the culture, but you can limit how much it harms you. State you are not being difficult, you want a clear structure so you can do your best…. Then email it!
Why Email Matters
Email and record everything. I say email because of the date and time on it. This gives you a verbatim account of what is happening. Of course, copy all emails to yourself outside of the work email address to a personal one. If you are emailing yourself rather than a colleague, add how what happened made you feel.
If the work environment ever explodes, you will have a verbatim record of events.
Understanding HR’s True Role
Please be aware that any HR department is there to protect the company and make sure they do the right things; they are not a Tell Teacher department. If you do need to go to any HR your employer may have, keep in mind what their role is and be factual and have your evidence.
When It Might Be Time to Leave
Effectively, your excessive politeness, may create a workable environment but if it is still a struggle to get yourself into work every day then it may be time for a change. If this is your decision, remember to do it on your terms, not in the middle of a battle, and bide your time. Once you decide that where you are is temporary, it has a finite length, and it will be easier to cope.
Leaving Strategically
If you decide that leaving is the healthiest choice, doing so strategically can protect both your future and your peace of mind.
Do your preparation, go to interviews and assess your options. Nobody is pushing you and it is fine to let the bullies think they are winning for a while.
Final Thoughts
Now this article is more or less complete, I realise, workplace bullying is a little less complex than partner or family toxicity. But no less hurtful if you are going through it. Be the best you can be for yourself and if you need help, remember we are here.
Ray Freeman
Leave a Reply